Posted by Christina | Posted on 12-05-2008
Category : Bitch, Daily, TMI
Seriously. My anxiety issues are through the roof. I get anxious about everything. It’s highly irritating because following the anxiety attack is the defeat. The crying. And when I say I get anxious about everything…I mean everything. My buyers remorse is at an all time high. Everything I buy I constantly question, even little things. Should I have bought that book, could I have done without this or that. After having to pay the money to get my car fixed I had a nervous breakdown. Not even joking. Mutti can testify to it. And then tonight I did something as simple as entering a photo contest. It didn’t really have any rules or regulations, just that you can enter online or through the mail. So I entered two digital prints and scanned a silver print, adjusted the levels on photoshop (since all scanners, even photo quality scanners give silver prints that grayscale look) and uploaded it. Now I’m all panicking because I’m afraid that wasn’t correct. I mean, they might list the photo as digital which would not be true. And I basically had an anxiety attack over something stupid. I mean, I can tell them it’s a silver print if they call, and that’s even if I win, to get the details. But I just can’t help my attacks.
I mean, they are bad. And getting worse. I kind of want to go to the doc about it tomorrow…but I’m all nervous about that. I mean, he can prescribe some anti-anxiety pill. But I mean, really, how helpful can a pill really be. How to you “tone down” anxiety. I don’t know. All I know is it is becoming a problem.
In other news, my bleeding problem is somewhat under control. My internal medicine doc says it is not my platelets that is causing all the bleeding. When I had my blood work done two weeks ago my platelets were at 105. Which isn’t horrible. Platelets are supposed to be at 150-180, but they generally don’t freak out as long as your platelets are above 60. The bleeding is simply (as they put it), dysfunctional uterine bleeding. There really is nothing I can do about it either. The doc put me on Metformin (which is actually a diabetic medication), however, I am not diabetic. It’s supposed to help with my polycystic ovarian syndrome. So far this period has gone smoothly. No huge clots and I found out I am not allergic to tampons! Yay!
And now to bed. Because the anxiousness has passed for the moment and on comes the tiredness of being anxious and the tears.
Just sleep.
Posted by Christina | Posted on 02-04-2008
Category : Bitch, Daily, Drama, TMI
So for those interested, the password for the two recent entries is “bitches”. Both entries tell what I have been going through for the past two months. Let’s just say I’ve been in the hospital a lot. I went to midmich hospital on Friday. They basically blew me off and started me on yet another birth control. Well, the bleeding and pain got worse (if you can imagine) so I was sent to baymed ER on Sunday because my ob-gyn has privileges there. I was admitted immediately. Normal platelets are supposed to be around 150-180. Mine where hovering around 75-80. The ob-gyn said that’s why the bleeding wouldn’t stop and the internal medicine doc said that the platelets were not low enough to cause the bleeding. So for three days and two nights I was stuck in “docs can’t agree to disagree hell”. They did ten thousand blood tests and a bunch of ultra sounds. All my blood test came back perfect except for the platelets, which were low. And the only thing they noticed on the ultra sounds was that my spleen was slightly enlarged.
So basically on Tuesday morning my ob-gyn talked it over with me and we decided a DNC would be the way to go because at least that way they could clean me all out and be able to make sure it’s not a tissue issue. I will find out on Wednesday what the results of that is. I also need to follow up with the internal medicine guy because I do in fact have a platelet issue. He was talking about doing a bone marrow test. I know those don’t feel good so this is going to be fun.
So the fact that my uterus and hormones were all out of whack caused most of the problem, but the platelet issue did play it’s part. Now I just need to follow up with everyone and see where we go from here. *sigh* I’m just glad to be out of the hospital.
Posted by Christina | Posted on 12-02-2008
Category : Bitch, TMI
I hate being sick. I hate being sick because of the stuffy nose, the watery eyes, the sore throat, the coughing, the throwing up, the soreness and the general ickyness. I also hate being sick because all of the things I had planned are now on hold. This includes things to do in my spare time and things that I have to do. I had to call into work, not go to classes, can’t focus on reading and can’t sit in front of the computer long enough to work on digi photo or imaging. I shall be forcing myself to work on the digital imaging project that needs to be worked on only because it is a major project that will cost me eighty dollars. So it needs to be damn good.
Thus far for that class we created an image with the theme “Nightmare” and we created our own CD packaging. For the CD we needed to come up with our own band name and twelve song titles. My band’s name was Stiff Susie and the Embalmers. I do plan on uploading all this work between digi photo and imaging on my deviantart account. Check here to see updates. I plan on adding some tonight before I hit the hay.
I’m not going to classes tomorrow. Today was the first day I was able to keep any food down but I still feel extremely icky and sick. And now the muscles below my breasts all the way around to my back hurt like a be-otch whenever I laugh, cough, sneeze or need to bend in any way. I do believe this is from the violent heaving of stomach contents. All I know is that it hurts like a mutha- shutyourmouth.
And now I am off like a grass skirt in a wind storm.
